blue flamingos

5 times General Landry almost quit

because he just couldn't handle these people any more

Fandom: Stargate SG1

Category/Rated: Gen, PG

Year/Length: 2009/ ~1200 words

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, for which I should think they're profoundly grateful.

Author's Notes: originally written for [info]sg1_five_things

Feedback: Yes please. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.



He's had tough commands, and weird commands, and he expected the SGC to come with copious amounts of both. He's heard about Ancient devices, people coming back from the dead, people getting cloned, getting de-aged, meeting their doubles, getting stuck in time loops. He figured he was, if not prepared for anything, at least ready for the prospect of anything.

Then he looked back on his first week in command, in which various combinations of two members of the SGC's premier team, the new guy, and an alien in leather: fought a holographic knight underground, made a race of powerful beings aware of Earth's existence, came back to life after being burned alive, and then lead a scavenger hunt across the galaxy.

Suddenly, even 'ready for the prospect of anything' seemed like a wildly over-optimistic outlook.



SG-8 is known primarily for being the sane, normal, work-horse team. They may not be flashy, they may not stage daring rescues or bring home exciting toys, but they do the job and their missions never end with Hank having to explain away anything weird to the IOA.

Which is why he's not especially pleased to be called down to the gate-room and find it filled with small, purple, fuzzy animals. He's even less pleased to discover that their spit – and oh, do they spit – is an aphrodisiac. Actually, he could even deal with that, except that he has a gate-room full of guards who are now half-naked and frolicking amongst the small, fuzzy, purple animals. And SG-8.

When SG-8, previous most notable mission the time one of them was bitten by an iguana, is involved in alien animal derived sex acts, it's definitely time to start thinking about retirement.



Hank has mixed feelings about Atlantis – the city, the existence of the expedition, the people who are out there. But they're in a whole other galaxy, and content to be a law unto themselves, and he's got enough to deal with with his own people, so he mostly doesn't think about them too much.

Until they're all pouring back into his gate-room, loaded down with bags, looking bewildered, some of them in tears, and probably tracking in muddy footprints to boot, all within 48 hours of someone mentioning they were coming. And they'll need jobs, and somewhere to live, and chance to sort out all their stuff from the Daedalus, and, sure, they usually get glowing evaluations, but Hank does not need 200 people in his base, however brilliant or genetically enhanced they might be.

Not that he couldn't handle them of course; it's what he's paid for, even if he doesn't have a lot of marines. But in the two minutes it takes him to get down to the gate-room, Sheppard and Lorne are up on the ramp, directing traffic and giving orders, and people are going, even the scientists. Hank's never been able to get a scientist to follow orders, not even the ones who are military geeks.

He doesn't think about quitting – he's still Sheppard's superior, whatever anyone else might like to think – but he does think, for a second, that he's glad he's the one with the power to send them away.



Hank's used to the idea that gossip gets around a base almost before the event being gossiped about has happened, it's the nature of life in a small community, and made worse by being in a small, classified community. He'd prefer it not be about him and his daughter and how they've mostly patched up their difference since he nearly died from the prior plague, but there it is, and there's nothing he can do about it.

Within a month, though, he's heard four different airmen and five different scientists (one of them a woman) wonder about the ethics of asking out Carolyn, as she's his daughter. He's also witnessed two different people (one of them, again, a woman) actually ask her out (and seen his daughter accept the woman's offer, which is something he hadn't known about her, and is still trying to pretend he doesn't know while he waits for her to tell him). He's also heard about one young airman try to follow her into the showers, but that was an official report, made by a very pissed off Colonel Mitchell when he caught the man, which was swiftly followed by the airman getting reassigned to guard the weapons chair in Antarctica.

He hasn't ever spent this much time worrying about his daughter's love life, for all that he knows she can take care of herself. That's not what's bothering him, though; what's bothering him is that, every time he hears one of his people wonder if Carolyn would go for it, he wants to haul the person into his office and tell them to stay the hell away from his child, they're not good enough for her.

He doesn't think it's a bad sign that he thinks no-one's good enough for Carolyn; he's less sure it's not a bad sign that he doesn't think these specific people are good enough for her, not when they're supposed to be the best and the brightest, and it's a worry that drives him to seriously consider whether he wouldn't be better elsewhere.



SG1 defeat the Ori, the Tok'ra de-snake Ba'al and Atlantis drops in to defeat the Wraith, and life is quiet for, oh, a good two weeks. Then SG-3 stumble upon a race called the Noones, who were exiled from their planet centuries ago by the Tok'ra, who someone accidentally lets slip work with the Tau'ri sometimes, and they're right back in the middle of a galactic war all over again.

The only person surprised when Hank has a heart attack in the gate room is Hank himself.

He ends up taking a month out on medical leave, leaving Carter, Mitchell and Davies in a kind of triumvirate charge, since all three of them have other duties which can't be abandoned.

Everyone's welcoming and happy to see him when he finally goes back. The three of them debrief him about everything (including the defeat of the Noones via Jackson and Teal'c persuading them into a treaty of non-aggression) in mind-numbing detail, and Carter and Davies leave to go back to what they should be doing.

It takes him a week to realize why his workload seems so much lighter than it did before, when he finds Mitchell, Jackson and Teal'c leading the newly formed SG-25 through a pre-mission briefing, Vala sitting with SG-25 because she is, apparently, going along as a kind of mentor. Mitchell starts guiltily when Hank walks in, but the rest of them just look at him, defiant beneath expressions forced into blankness.

"If you want to take over..." Mitchell says hesitantly, and Hank takes a good look at the people lined up behind him.

"No, carry on," he says, walking out, and goes back to his office to look again at the retirement paperwork. Because he might not be able to call it mutiny, really, but he can sure as hell see that something shifted while he was gone, and he's not at all convinced he can shift it back again.

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