blue flamingos

Five people John Sheppard included in his will

(and what he left to them)

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG1

Category/Rated: Slashy, G

Year/Length: 2008/ ~1037 words

Pairing: John/Cam

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, for which I should think they're profoundly grateful.

Feedback: Yes please. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.

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When he's writing his will, John knows that people won't get it. He's tempted to let them puzzle over it, something to distract them from what isn't there, but in the end he can't do it. He relies a lot on what he shows instead of saying, but, as it turns out, there are some things that he has to be sure people hear. Even if they're only hearing them from paper, after he's gone.

1. To Rodney, his surf board:

Yeah, I know – you hate the outdoors, you have sensitive skin that burns easily, you don't like the water and, oh, by the way, surfing is a stupid pass-time that will most likely get you killed. Though, hey, you'll be in good company, with the last one.

Try it, you might like it; wouldn't be the first time that happened to you in Pegasus. Ronon knows how to surf, get him to teach you. And Teyla knows a good planet for something like board wax, make sure she takes you.

You're so much better at physical stuff now than you were when we got here. You'll pick it up easily. It's fun. It's like flying.

2. To Teyla, his Hail Mary video:

I don't know if we even still have a video player in Atlantis, but talk to Rodney and Zelenka. They can probably put one together in an afternoon. I know you never really got the point of football (fair's fair; I never really got the point of that Athosian kids' game with the twelve different-colored balls). Ronon did, mostly, maybe he can explain it better than me. There's got to be something similar somewhere in Pegasus.

I just – it makes me think of you. And Rodney and Ford and Elizabeth, when we first got here, and everything was It's a good memory, is all, and we never have enough of those.

3. To Ronon, his sudoku books:

You remember telling me you wished you knew more about science, when the Replicators attacked us on the old planet? That's more Rodney's area than mine, so this is the closest I can get. They're a bit like strategy puzzles, in an abstract kind of way. I'm pretty sure Teyla sneaks the ones I'm half-done with, I'm not sure why. She'll probably tell you. I just get the innocent face.

It seems like the thing to do would be to leave you my weapon, but yours is much cooler. Though you're welcome to the P-90 if you want it.

It's been a pleasure. Don't leave the city just because I'm gone.

4. To Teyla's son, his skateboard:

Your mom's going to hate me for this, but trust me, it'll be worth it. Every kid should have a chance to bruise his knees falling off a skateboard; it's not my fault that your galaxy hasn't invented them yet. You could make a killing as the first skateboard retailer in Pegasus. Maybe learn to ride one first though. Go to Lorne, he knows how, even if he doesn't seem like he would. Must have had a misspent youth.

I don't know if you'll remember me; I don't know how old you'll be now. But you were the first child to grow up in Atlantis for ten thousand years. I don't know what that makes you, really, but we always thought it made you amazing. I'm sorry I'm not around to see what you'll do next, but I bet it makes everyone proud.

Not that you need to do anything for that. We were always proud of you, right from the start, and we always loved you. Nothing will ever change that.

5. To Cameron Mitchell, nothing but this:

I'm really sorry. I don't know what happened, but believe me, I'm sorry. McKay promised he'd tell you in person, but he doesn't have this note. I hope it helped.

Did I ever tell you I sometimes thought about what would happen, later? When we were both done saving the world, or trying to. I guess there's no point telling you now, but I never imagined that you wouldn't be there. I never imagined that I wouldn't be there either, which just goes to show how wrong I can be.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I pretty much thought I'd be with you forever, and it hurts to think that now I'm not. And I'm sorry for hurting you by leaving. I didn't mean that to happen.

And in case it's not completely fucking obvious, or I never said, which is honestly kind of likely: I love you.

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3 more people he also included:

To Keller, his guitar:

Don't tell Ronon I know this, because he likes to keep up his silent man of mystery image, but he told me you didn't have a lot of time for fun at college. Don't get mad either – he was drunk when he told me.

I guess that didn't leave much time for things like music, and God knows there's not a lot of free time on Atlantis, but guitar's easy to pick up, and I'm sure there are people who can teach you. And everyone likes a girl with a guitar – trust me on this.

You're not a replacement for Carson. Or, you are, but not in a bad way. Thank you for everything, and thank you for trying this time.

To Lorne, his Johnny Cash poster, and the office ipod:

It's been an honor and a privilege to work with you. I'm sorry I won't be around to watch you get promoted and do amazing things.

I'm not sorry that I won't be around to watch someone else steal you out from under us. I don't know what we'd have done without you half the time.

To Dave, the money still sitting in his trust fund account:

I'm sure you don't need this, but divide it up between the girls. I'm sure you've got college funds for both of them. Don't tell them where it came from though – promise me. They don't even know who I am, they don't need to know that I'm dead.

I don't know what else to say.


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