blue flamingos

Last Kiss: John/Cam

Fandom: SG1/SGA

Category/Rated: Slash/PG

Year/Length: 2011/475 words

Pairing: John/Cam

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, for which I should think they're profoundly grateful.

Series: Dysfunction verse

Feedback: Yes please. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.

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Cam's not completely surprised when he opens the apartment door and the first thing he sees is John's duffel bag, packed and ready next to the combat boots he still wears. He might not know John as well as he'd like to, but he knows John that well.

"John?"

"I'm still here." John's voice is quiet, even allowing for how he's in another room. When Cam goes into the kitchen, John's sitting at the table, his hands folded neatly in front of him, his head up, looking right at Cam. Cam can't read him, at all.

"I take it not for much longer?" Cam moves out of the doorway and leans against the counter.

John shakes his head, looking down for a moment, then back up. "I'm not all right," he says, very clearly. "I don't think staying here will help."

Cam doesn't know if he means here in the apartment or here in Colorado Springs. It might not matter. "You can get help here," he says, unable to keep the note of pleading from his voice. "There are – the SGC can put you in touch with someone, or the Air Force, John, you're not the only one to –"

John's shaking his head as Cam trails away. It's unnerving, the way John keeps his eyes locked on Cam's; brave, too, because John doesn't like to talk, would surely have preferred to leave a note and vanish. "I can't stay here," he says. "It's just going to get worse – I'm going to get worse. I have to leave."

Cam wants to argue – has all of his arguments lined up, because there's a part of him that's been waiting for this. Instead, he says, "Will you come back?"

That's when John drops his gaze, focussing on his folded hands. "I don't know."

"Can you tell me where you're going?" Cam asks, then corrects himself to, "Will you tell me?"

"Dave's wife found me a place, near where they live. It's – I don't know if I'll stay. For a while."

"That's good." Cam doesn't manage to hide his relief. They talk around what they're both afraid of, but that doesn't mean they don't both know it's there, and it hasn't escaped Cam's notice that John's never corrected him.

John stands up, apparently done. "I can't promise anything," he says firmly.

"I know." Cam will promise anything John needs, except that what John needs is for him not to promise anything, not right now. "Can I – " He steps closer, then touches John's shoulder. John steps into the touch with a sigh that Cam feels against his own skin, right before they kiss.

There's nothing he can say, and apparently nothing John wants to say. Cam steps back, lets John move away, and listens for the apartment door to swing closed between them.


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