blue flamingos

Five people John hopes never to be stuck in a transporter with ever again

Fandom: SGA

Category/Rated: Gen/PG

Year/Length: 2010/392 words

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, for which I should think they're profoundly grateful.

Feedback: Yes please. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.


Major Lorne: Lorne's a great second-in-command, a good person with a dry sense of humor, and about as close a friend as he can be, considering their relative positions. He also, it turns out, has an endless stream of time waster games at his disposal, and refuses to be deterred from them by being trapped in a small transporter with no lights, power or radios. The only reason John doesn't kill him where he sits is that it's Lorne's turn to do personnel evaluations.

Mr Woolsey: Woolsey thinks three hours trapped in a transporter is the perfect time to go through all the administrivia that John's been putting off for weeks � okay, months, but only the really boring stuff. John would take a Wraith attack over that any day. Actually, John would take personnel evaluations over that – for science as well, if he had to.

Dr Lapinski: she's very claustrophobic, only takes the transporters if she really, really has to. She's always been that way, has to take anxiety pills before she goes into the SGC and hopes desperately that the Midway station will be rebuilt so she doesn't have to use the Daedalus to get home. All of which she tells John, over and over at high speed until Rodney rescues them. John could kiss him.

Colonel Carter: it's not like he doesn't know that she knows about him and Cam � hell, she's crashed more than one of their dates, for which John blames Cam entirely. It's just that it's incredibly, unpleasantly weird to be sitting on the floor of the transporter while his commanding officer quizzes him about his intentions towards her best friend.

Rodney McKay: John doesn't care that the man is one of his best friends, and a genius, or that he's saved John's life on more than one occasion. After the third time they get trapped in a transporter together, and Rodney makes it more difficult for them to be rescued in his attempts to get them free, John starts refusing to get in a transporter with him. On the down side, it takes him longer to get everywhere when he has to walk. On the up side, after a couple of weeks, he starts being able to keep up with Ronon when they run again. John's counting that one in the win column.

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