blue flamingos

5 Earth Customs Vala Can't Understand

Fandom: Stargate SG1

Category/Rated: Gen, G

Year/Length: 2009/ ~362 words

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, for which I should think they're profoundly grateful.

Author's Notes: Written for sg1_five_things

Feedback: Yes please. Even if it's bad. Especially if it's bad.

hr

1.

Independence Day. She likes the fireworks, and the team barbeques are fun, but what's the point of celebrating independence from another landmass on the same planet? Eventually, they'll face something too big coming at them, and no-one's going to care who's independent then.

2.

Shaking hands. Daniel says it used to be to prove people didn't have swords up their sleeves, but really, who'd be that obvious with their concealed weapons? If they're trying to make sure they won't be attacked, they'd be better off shaking their new acquaintance upside down by their ankles. Mitchell collapses into a completely charming fit of giggles when she says this to him.

3.

Don't Ask Don't Tell. For one thing, if it's supposed to be keeping gay people out of the military, it's a spectacular failure, judging by the people she knows. And for another, it just takes all the fun out of meeting the new soldiers – they get all nervous and twitchy, when she's going for flushed and amused.

4.

Tipping. She's used to world's where the price of everything is relative, and she's used to planets where the price of everything is set. What she doesn't see if the point of a world where the price of everything is set, including the price for the job you do, and then there's this one thing that's relative. She's past looking for logic in what the people of Earth do, but really, would it kill them to make sense just once?

5.

Sneaking out of the infirmary. It's more, she thinks, of a military custom than an Earth one, but her experience of Earth is more of the military than the general population. She's only been in the infirmary a few times, but she likes it: she gets to lie around while attractive people take care of her and her friends bring her gifts. When the others sneak out, they get frowned at, told off, and eventually sent back in, where they have to lie around under close supervision. Vala's way, you skip the bad stuff and draw out the good stuff, and that's what life ought to be about, in her opinion.


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